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Old May 5th, 2006, 05:41 PM
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The Caption 100 Deathmatch: Winner & Final Ranking
It took 100 photo/caption combinations, 3 rounds, 13 different polls, and 248 votes, but we now have a winner in The Caption 100 Deathmatch. According to your input, the winning entry is Caption This! #10. (No coincidence that the subject of this photo is my wife! ). TannerWorld Junction member Childs provided the winning text.

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Recap
Introduction
Round 1.1
Round 1.2
Round 1.3
Round 1.4
Round 1.5
Round 1.6
Round 1.7
Round 1.8
Round 1.9
Round 1.10
Round 2.1
Round 2.2
Round 3

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Thanks to everyone for participating in this competition, as well as submitting both photos and captions over a 4-year period. Using your votes, along with the existing post and read counts, I've put together a master list ranking the best to worst photo/caption combinations... #1 through #100. Enjoy!

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1.
Caption This! #10 (September 17th, 2002) Original Thread



"Come on, they're starting. I don't want to be late!"

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2.
Caption This! #75 (September 16th, 2004) Original Thread



"Arrr, ye best be handing over that there kitty liter, or you're walking the plank!"

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3.
Caption This! #53 (January 26th, 2004) Original Thread



"Unfortunately, the monthly meeting of 'Germaphobes Anonymous" chose to have their group photo taken outside the hospital during the daily bedpan dump."

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4.
Caption This! #15 (October 22nd, 2002) Original Thread



"Losing the competitive edge they once had, the U.S. Postal Service embarked on a different marketing strategy..."

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5.
Caption This! #48 (October 30th, 2003) Original Thread



"It's so cold out both sets of my cheeks are turning colors."

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6.
Caption This! #89 (January 7th, 2005) Original Thread



"And here we have the new Wal-Mart uniform that all associates will be expected to wear."

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7.
Caption This! #26 (April 7th, 2003) Original Thread



"Boy, won't it be great when I nail him with this water balloon!... shock and awe, baby!"

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8.
Caption This! #98 (June 20th, 2005) Original Thread



"The result of the Intel/Play-Doh merger."

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9.
Caption This! #34 (June 13th, 2003) Original Thread



"Oh look honey, that house is on fire! Pass the chips"

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10.
Caption This! #64 (February 11th, 2004) Original Thread



"Apartment for Rent: This two-bedroom special comes with its own off-street parking space."

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11.
Caption This! #5 (August 16th, 2002) Original Thread



"They're freaky and they're scary,
They're altogether hairy,
They should've used some Nair-y...
The 80's family!"


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12.
Caption This! #74 (September 14th, 2004) Original Thread



"Mommy, the demon-possessed goat won't let me go!"

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13.
Caption This! #28 (April 23rd, 2003) Original Thread



"Welcome to Camp Menopause, where you can enjoy our many fully appointed campsites such as, Crazy Woman, Saggy Pass, and Leaf Me Alone. During your stay be sure not to miss the I Hate You Falls and the Hot Flash Hot Springs and enjoy the rest of your time at Camp Menopause.

Please don't feed the bears."


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14.
Caption This! #50 (November 21st, 2003) Original Thread



"And in rural news today Farmer Brown bagged the first two prizes in the annual 'Gramma-Hunt'. This year marks the 250th generation of gramma's to participate in this age old Scottish tradition. Spokesperson Ian Allistar MacKenzie is quoted as saying, 'Aye well it's a grand toim fer ull! An the gram's luff et ess whell!'

Protestors were scare this year following last year's 'Protestor Hunt'."


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15.
Caption This! #51 (January 2nd, 2004) Original Thread



"Not sure what to caption, but he should be wearing a helmet!"

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16.
Caption This! #37 (July 28th, 2003) Original Thread



"... And this completes your intensive 3 hour Manager Training Course. Welcome to the Blockbuster Family!"

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17.
Caption This! #69 (July 2nd, 2004) Original Thread



"Those sneaky people at Firestone said their tires repel water. I am SO gonna sue their butts off for this!"

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18.
Caption This! #97 (May 2nd, 2005) Original Thread



"Pot, angeldust, and heroin are still regular price and may be purchased in our Alleyway Gift Shop! Buy a T-shirt at our Hempen Goods store! Try our new "high" top sneakers!"

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19.
Caption This! #6 (August 22nd, 2002) Original Thread



"Persons trying to light their own flatulence please stay to either side of the airplane... thank you for flying United"

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20.
Caption This! #93 (March 8th, 2005) Original Thread



"Test-ing fate"

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21.
Caption This! #30 (May 7th, 2003) Original Thread



"Yes ma'am, when I eat my Tootsie Rolls I'm able to walk along walls in my bare feet. Next question please..."

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22.
Caption This! #49 (November 10th, 2003) Original Thread



"Hell's Taxi Cab"

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23.
Caption This! #76 (September 27th, 2004) Original Thread



"The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you! The Power of Christ compels you!"

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24.
Caption This! #1 (July 29th, 2002) Original Thread



"You mess with my team, you mess with me, kapeesh?"

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25.
Caption This! #13 (October 8th, 2002) Original Thread



"Ronald McDonald was reported missing late last Thursday after displaying neurotic behavior and fleeing a commercial set. Friends stated that he was dismayed at the recent death of his pal, The Hamburglar, and was on the verge of doing 'something crazy.'

On Tuesday morning, members of a quiet Nebraska community located the clown surrounded by food wrappers in a local corn field and notified the local police. McDonald was wearing a Burger King crown and eating a Whopper when the authorities arrived on the scene. Ronald McDonald has reluctantly agreed to undergo counseling and treatment for an unspecified addiction at a residential rehabilitation facility. Before being silenced by his lawyer, Mr. McDonald was heard repeating the phrase "your way, right away" under his breath.

In a related story... Ronald McDonald's former sidekick, Grimace, has been seen in Las Vegas, New York, and Beijing this week with multi-gazillionaire and hotel mogul Donald Trump. Trump and Grimace met recently while appearing in various television commercials together. Rumors say that the dynamic duo are looking to capitalize on McDonald's misfortune. When asked if Trump was interested in a takeover of the McDonald's chain, he replied, 'My name is written all over it... and I've dreamt of going to Hamburger University since I was a small fry'."


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26.
Caption This! #20 (December 30th, 2002) Original Thread



"Honey, I think I flooded the engine again."

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27.
Caption This! #84 (November 16th, 2004) Original Thread



"Hey look, one of those wood posts is shorter than the others."

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28.
Caption This! #8 (September 5th, 2002) Original Thread



"German vs. American body styles"

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29.
Caption This! #95 (April 1st, 2005) Original Thread



"Nothing like outsourcing!"

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30.
Caption This! #32 (May 28th, 2003) Original Thread



"This is what your mother told you would happen if you swallowed watermelon seeds."

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31.
Caption This! #86 (December 8th, 2004) Original Thread



"... and so, it became known as 'football'..."

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32.
Caption This! #73 (August 24th, 2004) Original Thread



"In the latest of a series of brushes with the law, Mailbox, star of children's television staple Blue's Clues, was captured today after an Amber Alert resulted in many reported sightings of Mr. Box with Paprika Jones, aged 14 months, who had been missing since early Monday morning."

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33.
Caption This! #65 (May 10th, 2004) Original Thread



"CHiPs: Ponch and Leggy Fight Crime!"

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34.
Caption This! #57 (March 12th, 2004) Original Thread



"Margaret and Peggine always crossed their right legs over their left... but Nancy was a rebel!"

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35.
Caption This! #70 (July 13th, 2004) Original Thread



"Tha PO-lice had tuh cut dis offa my head cuz Maw towed me ta lift that thar seat befer I peyed."

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36.
Caption This! #67 (May 26th, 2004) Original Thread



"In a genetic experiment gone wrong, the Hamburgler and Ronald McDonald are made into a hybrid being."

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37.
Caption This! #31 (May 13th, 2003) Original Thread



"Colonel Sanders' widow did everything she could to recapture the memory of her late husband."

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38.
Caption This! #16 (October 28th, 2002) Original Thread



"I know someone told me that this boat came with a garage."

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39.
Caption This! #45 (September 25th, 2003) Original Thread



"What are YOU looking at?"

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40.
Caption This! #55 (February 11th, 2004) Original Thread



"Fine, if you guys don't have any changing rooms..."

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41.
Caption This! #83 (November 9th, 2004) Original Thread



"I can't caption this and remain G-rated."

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42.
Caption This! #17 (November 11th, 2002) Original Thread



"I just need to hold my bowels for a couple more seconds until he turns his head back, then I will let him have it."

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43.
Caption This! #66 (May 20th, 2004) Original Thread



"Bill Cosby reincarnated for the next run at The Cosby Show."

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44.
Caption This! #71 (August 1st, 2004) Original Thread



"See, I told you if I concentrated really hard that I could get the tennis ball to float in mid-air."

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45.
Caption This! #39 (September 2nd, 2003) Original Thread



"Want to see how fast she can run when I throw this cigarette into those dead branchs?"

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46.
Caption This! #27 (April 14th, 2003) Original Thread



"No diving on babies in this area please."

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47.
Caption This! #78 (October 4th, 2004) Original Thread



"See, I kiss butt with the best of them. I can almost kiss my own."

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48.
Caption This! #47 (October 23rd, 2003) Original Thread



"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

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49.
Caption This! #22 (February 5th, 2003) Original Thread



"A message from the National Safety Council... Always measure the height of your vehicle. If a bridge says its clearance is less than your vehicle's height, do not travel through it. Also, please steer clear of the guard rails on the side of the road."

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50.
Caption This! #56 (February 25th, 2004) Original Thread



"If I hold the kid this way, maybe nothing will come out and we won't need anymore of these expensive diapers."

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51.
Caption This! #88 (December 22nd, 2004) Original Thread



"'Dude, remember that time that Captain Kirk and that scientist chick switched bodies with that alien machine.'
'Yeah.'
'Dude, if that happens now... don't do nuthin weird!'
'Yeah... like bungee jumping?'
'Dude, NO BUNGEES! My body is a temple! We do not bungee the temple, capiche?'"


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52.
Caption This! #29 (April 28th, 2003) Original Thread



"Will Give Ballet Lessons for Food"

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53.
Caption This! #62 (May 1st, 2004) Original Thread



"Even among sheep, the 'fro' has caught on."

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54.
Caption This! #11 (September 24th, 2002) Original Thread



"Spokesperson Larry Drababowski of Barrel O' Fun had this to say on today's recent highway fire... 'We at Barrel O' Fun try to label everything. We're fanatics about labeling, even our labels have labels! What apparently happened in this case is that the labels for 'EXTINGUISHER of FUN' and 'GAS CAN of FUN' were switched. We have hired investigators to determine whether or not this is corporate espionage by our longtime rivals 'Crate of Fun'."

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55.
Caption This! #35 (June 30th, 2003) Original Thread



"A soon-to-be-disturbing scene that tragically ended a young actor's career and was finally edited out of the movie The Hulk."

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56.
Caption This! #100 (July 25th, 2005) Original Thread



"Sorry for the backwash."

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57.
Caption This! #91 (January 10th, 2005) Original Thread



"As a courtesy, please remember to replace all divets."

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58.
Caption This! #3 (August 6th, 2002) Original Thread



"THESE DOORS LOCKED AT 10:00, huh? I'd like to see them get these doors locked by 10:00 tonight!"

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59.
Caption This! #96 (December 8th, 2004) Original Thread



"And now to Current Events... The rare Baby Butt Schnauzer made its annual spring appearance today, uhering in what is sure to be a rainy season.

The Baby Butt Schnauzer -- while not officially recognized by the AKC -- is a native to North America and a predator of bathing robins. Their natural hunting grounds are bird baths, puddles, and the occasional kiddie pool.

I'm your reporter on the go, Rusty Underpants... Good day!"


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60.
Caption This! #24 (March 25th, 2003) Original Thread



"Please pay for parking and use our complimentary chapstick."

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61.
Caption This! #43 (September 24th, 2003) Original Thread



"Um, the sixties are ----> that way."

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62.
Caption This! #38 (August 15th, 2003) Original Thread



"Are you SURE we took the right turn in the Desert? I don't remember this much water last time."

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63.
Caption This! #90 (January 10th, 2005) Original Thread



"Prices aren't the only thing falling at your neighborhood Wal-Mart."

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64.
Caption This! #42 (September 24th, 2003) Original Thread



"Honey, you left your curling iron on."

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65.
Caption This! #58 (February 18th, 2004) Original Thread



"Proof that 3 is not always better than 1."

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66.
Caption This! #77 (October 1st, 2004) Original Thread



"No Ghapetto! I will not marry Pinocchio!"

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67.
Caption This! #85 (December 2nd, 2004) Original Thread



"Coke... the paws that refreshes."

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68.
Caption This! #99 (July 1st, 2005) Original Thread



"After the advent of the electric streetcar, the handheld electic streetcar driver proved to be a bit cumbersome."

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69.
Caption This! #36 (July 1st, 2003) Original Thread



"Stupid birds. Always having to take a crap on my nice clean window."

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70.
Caption This! #59 (March 24th, 2004) Original Thread



"Gee, Phil. I never knew burning human flesh smelled so delicious."

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71.
Caption This! #82 (November 4th, 2004) Original Thread



"I actually did catch the ball, before I dropped it."

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72.
Caption This! #72 (August 10th, 2004) Original Thread



"Hey baby, I'll ring your bells!"

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73.
Caption This! #23 (February 24th, 2003) Original Thread



"And he's off like a bull with gas!"

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74.
Caption This! #54 (February 11th, 2004) Original Thread



"3 years old and all I get is candles made of out bamboo? What a jip!"

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75.
Caption This! #12 (October 2nd, 2002) Original Thread



"Just a little farther into that molasses puddle and she's OURS!"

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76.
Caption This! #2 (July 31st, 2002) Original Thread



"Ack! My parachute seems to be snagged on this stupid sign they put in the middle of the landing area."

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77.
Caption This! #14 (October 15th, 2002) Original Thread



"Willy: Good for you, lass. I got a zero once, and my life turned out just fine (cleans out toilet with hand). Oooh.. that's a nasty clog... ooh, you've got yourself a partner have ya?"

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78.
Caption This! #19 (December 10th, 2002) Original Thread



"After months of fighting the school board of Howe High, Brian finally gets his wheelchair accessable entrance on the north side. Here he is seen trying out the new 'Rampoline'. He does get carried away, sometimes."

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79.
Caption This! #87 (December 19th, 2004) Original Thread



"A proud Steve shows off that he figured out how to tear apart the computer. In about 10 minutes he will realise he can't figure out where any of the plugs go anymore."

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80.
Caption This! #9 (September 10th, 2002) Original Thread



"I followed the cookbook exactly. I am so sorry honey that you puked your guts out all night. I really wanted it to be a romantic dinner."

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81.
Caption This! #94 (March 9th, 2005) Original Thread



"Ya know... wild dogs lick their own wounds to clean them and help with healing. Let me just..."

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82.
Caption This! #41 (September 22nd, 2003) Original Thread



"Cinderalla and Captain Cook, going steady in 3rd grade."

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83.
Caption This! #7 (August 27th, 2002) Original Thread



"Let's keep moving people... keep moving. Ummmm, please don't look directly at him"

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84.
Caption This! #52 (December 16th, 2003) Original Thread



"Does this come in green?"

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85.
Caption This! #79 (October 17th, 2004) Original Thread



"I wish they sold razors somewhere nearby."

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86.
Caption This! #46 (October 6th, 2003) Original Thread



"I am going to bend the guy in half that stole my comb."

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87.
Caption This! #92 (January 21st, 2005) Original Thread



"Look at the bright side, Mom! I'll never have to get dressed up for Halloween!"

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88.
Caption This! #40 (September 18th, 2003) Original Thread



"Aarrrr.... I'll kill this pumpkin before bedtime if it's the last thing I do!"

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89.
Caption This! #80 (October 22nd, 2004) Original Thread



"Introducing Tony Hawk's 'Backstage Brawl'"

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90.
Caption This! #68 (June 16th, 2004) Original Thread



"These aren't actually my hands."

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91.
Caption This! #61 (April 27th, 2004) Original Thread



"Fake smiles help keep Fern employed."

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92.
Caption This! #60 (April 16th, 2004) Original Thread



Answer the following question: What do these signs say?
"United for an Irish salad dressing"
"Remember the potato famine. Eat salad!"
"Bob & Larry say it's OK. Eat away!"


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93.
Caption This! #81 (October 25th, 2004) Original Thread



"I hope nobody will notice that I am still hung over from last night."

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94.
Caption This! #44 (September 25th, 2003) Original Thread



"Captain Jack Sparrow's son learning how to pirate the one-man boat/car/SUV whatever."

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95.
Caption This! #33 (May 29th, 2003) Original Thread



"I knew I went the wrong way at the tonsils."

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96.
Caption This! #21 (January 21st, 2003) Original Thread



"I'm not seeing an image here."

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97.
Caption This! #18 (November 20th, 2002) Original Thread



"Coming to select theaters soon: Happy Gilmore II: The New Caddy"

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98.
Caption This! #4 (August 8th, 2002) Original Thread



"I know the Ju Jitsu touch of death...Give me the frisbee!"

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99.
Caption This! #25 (March 31st, 2003) Original Thread



"Dating service reject tapes"

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100.
Caption This! #63 (May 5th, 2004) Original Thread



"Aaaahhhhhhh - Now that I have relieved myself..."

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