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Old August 27th, 2009, 05:00 PM
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Jason Steele: Should you add your one-night stand as a friend on Facebook?
Should you add your one-night stand as a friend on Facebook?
By Jason Steele

Should you Facebook-friend your one-night stand?

A friend of mine, whom we will call "Kate," recently went on a first date with a guy she met online. The first date quickly turned into an extended late-night date, which then turned into an even later-late night date, which then turned into breakfast. (I'll let you fill in the blanks.)

The next morning, after her "date" finally ended, Kate called to give me some of the details and wondered aloud if they should be Facebook friends.

My first instinct was to say no. It seems weird to friend request someone before you really know them--as a person, that is. Although Facebook-flirting could be hot.

I wasn't sure if there was a right answer to this question. Kate and the guy had been chatting for a week or so via the match-making site so it wasn't a random tryst. But their initial face-to-face was thus far only one passion-filled evening.

A gay friend of mine recently faced a similar situation as well. He had hooked up with a guy he met at a club and the next day, the hookup tried to Facebook-friend him.

He wasn't sure if he should accept because he wanted to keep the experience as a one-time thing. "If I wanted to be his friend, I would have given him my number," were his exact words.

His concern: If he ignores the friend request, would he be considered rude? But if he accepts it, then this one-night stand (ONS) is now privy to his everyday goings-on and intimate personal details.

I know, I see the disconnect too. So, we're saying it's OK to invite someone into your bedroom but not your online life.

One upside to friending an ONS is you can then do some investigative reporting via their profile page so see if they are worthy of a second date.

Of course, a true ONS doesn't even involve the exchange of last names, so it shouldn't even be an issue.

But social networking has added a level of complexity to casual dating. In my dating heyday (read: the early '90s) we barely had e-mail. If I didn't want to run into my previous night's hookup I simply took a different route across The Quad to my PoliSci class.

In Kate's case, she opted to not Facebook-friend him just yet. Instead they are embarking on a regular relationship first where they actually talk in person.

That doesn't mean after that he won't change his Facebook status to something obnoxious like, "got me some again last night!" Unfortunately (or fortunately), Kate just won't be able to see it.

Source: RedEye - Reprinted with Author's Permission
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